


Kiss Me Deadly

by ashestoroses018



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: #bugheadisdead, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, F/M, Film Noir, I tried to make this feel Noir, M/M, Mild Gore, Murder, Murder Mystery, Reader-Insert, Veronica is probably ooc bc i prefer her as the kinda bitch she is in the original comics, bisexual reader, jughead and betty break up after he leaves for southside but before he comes back sorry, seriously it's only mild bc i hate gore it freaks me out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 15:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashestoroses018/pseuds/ashestoroses018
Summary: Picture this...An idyllic town that has lost all innocence in the span of less than a year.female! reader/Midge Klumpfemale! reader/Jughead Jones





	Kiss Me Deadly

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, no, I don't own Archie comics, this interpretation, etc. All characters are my own interpretation, and this plotline is pretty much my own creation. I also don't own the film, Kiss Me Deadly. I've never actually seen it, so I hope it has no similarities to this, lol. Also don't own any of the Film Noir movies that I reference in chapter titles. (btw how is Kirk Douglas still alive? Whatever he eats, I need 2342897234089234 of it)
> 
> I also don't own the actors who play these characters, as much as I wish I could call Cole Sprouse my own. Y'all, he glow'd tf up. So did Dylan, tbf.
> 
> As always, this is unbeta'd and not proofread. If you notice errors, shoot me a comment.

Picture this: a small town hidden in the most suburban parts of New York state. This little town was once idyllic in its innocence and purity; a seamless mesh of quaint fifties clothing and buildings with the technology of 2018.

In July of 2017, a 17 year old boy, from the richest family in the town, was brutally murdered. What followed was a desperate cat and mouse that led, surprisingly enough, to Jason Blossom's own father.

The ensuing drug investigation is still ongoing, even in January's chill, but you are far more concerned about something else. You haven't heard from your - secret - girlfriend, Midge Klump, in three days. The two of you pretend to be best friends, while she acts devoted to her beard, Moose Mason. Considering your nearly-inseparable status, it is quite odd that you haven't heard from either her or her parents since just after Christmas.

The two of you had gotten together after Fred Andrews, Archie's dad, was shot back in October, which had somehow managed to shock the town even more than Jason Blossom's death on July 11th. Luckily, he'd managed to survive, but what little semblance of normalcy that had been maintained within Riverdale was lost.

As you walk into Riverdale High School for the first time since winter break had started, you stalk straight for Moose Mason's locker, slamming it closed in his face.

"Have you heard from Midge?" you ask him in a fierce whisper, trying not to draw the attention of crowds.

He looks at you, a confused look growing on his square face. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said, dumbass. Where's _your girlfriend_?" you ask through gritted teeth.

"I haven't seen her in a while. You probably saw her more recently," he says under his breath as he leads the two of you away from the football team, sending a glance to his buddy, Reggie, so that the Asian boy knows not to follow.

The two of you go to a back staircase, which seems to be abandoned, but even so, Moose continues speaking quietly. "When's the last time you heard from her?"

"Saturday. The 30th."

"Aw, didn't kiss your girlfriend on New Years'?"

You smack the meathead on the arm -- his only body part you can really reach. "You don't want me to out _you_ , do you, Moose? Don't out me. Dumbass."

Moose, to his undeniable credit, attempts to look ashamed. After a moment, he speaks up again. "Have you tried calling her parents or going to her house?"

"Her parents went out of town the day after Christmas. I don't have a key to her house, and if she's just ignoring my calls, I can't just go over there."

"Doesn't sound like the best way to have a healthy relationship."

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Moose. Have you seen her today? Don't the two of you usually walk to school together?"

Moose's face darkens a bit. "I thought she might still be mad at me. We had a fight a couple weeks ago, and she's been ignoring me since."

"Shit. You guys have first period together, right?"

He nods.

"Okay, look. You still have my number, right?" He nods again. "Okay, good. Text me if you see her. Or don't. Just...text me, either way. If she's not in school, we need to do things."

Moose nods, yet again. "Yeah, with the way Riverdale's been lately, it's important to make sure she's okay."

After a moment, he puts a hand on your shoulder and pulls you into a friendly, comforting embrace, whispering your name into your hair. "I'm sure Midge is fine."

You nod into his shoulder, before pulling away, completely unaware of the fact that another student had seen the two of you embracing.

 

It's halfway through first period when your phone vibrates. Chancing it, you look down surreptitiously, hoping your teacher, Mr. Weiss, won't notice.

 _She's not here_. - Moose Mason, 8:05 AM

 _Are you fucking serious? -_ You, 8:06 AM

 _What should we do?_ \- Moose Mason, 8:06 AM

 _I don't kn -_ You, 8:06 AM

Mr. Weiss' raspy voice rings out with your name suddenly. You glance up, to see him right next to you, watching you text.

"Have something you care to share with the class? Something more important than Geometry?"

For a moment, you blanch, before you nod. "Actually, yes, Mr. Weiss."

His eyes widen behind his wire-framed glasses. "Well, then, go ahead."

You cough quietly, trying to brace yourself, tears brimming in your eyes. "Midge...she's...gone."

"Wait, what?"

"Midge Klump, my...my best friend. Nobody has heard from her since Saturday, and she didn't show up in school."

"Oh, my God. Go to Principal Weatherbee, now. He'll...he'll call Sheriff Keller."

You nod, tears starting to trail down your cheeks. Gathering your things into your bag, you begin to rush down the hallway.

Before you get halfway to the principal's office, you're stopped by that girl -- the hero girl, Betty Cooper.

"Hey, is everything okay? You're Midge's friend, right?"

You shake your head. "I need to go to Mr. Weatherbee."

"Why?"

"What is this, the fucking Spanish Inquisition? I need to go see the principal."

Betty's eyes widen. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to offend you; you just look really sad. I thought I might be able to help."

You wipe some of your tears and sneer at the blonde. "Midge Klump. Nobody's heard from her. I need to go to the principal, so he can call the sheriff."

You hear her gasp but ignore her as you push past her and rush towards Weatherbee's office. There's no doubt in your mind that Nancy Drew back there will try to solve this. Maybe when you're done with the cops, you can enlist her help. For now, though, you need to focus on doing the _legal_ thing, rather than the vigilante thing to do.

 

 

With a deep breath, you gently rap on the principal's door. Not even a minute later, the older African-American man opens the door, gesturing for you to come in.

You absentmindedly sit in the chair in front of his desk and place your bag on the floor. The only thing you can think about is your girlfriend -- your _first_ girlfriend -- missing. So deep in that are you, that you quite literally jump when the principal says your name sharply.

"Yes, sir?"

"I had to call your name three times, young lady."

"S-sorry, Mr. Weatherbee."

"It's quite alright. Now, then. Do you have a referral?"

 _Wait_ , Mr. Weiss hadn't sent word ahead of you? What the hell? The old fart can't do anything right, can he?

"No, Mr. Weiss didn't tell you why I was coming?"

"Err, no?"

"Mr. Weatherbee, nobody has heard from Midge Klump, the junior, since the thirtieth. She hasn't shown up for school. Her parents left on the twenty-sixth. Moose and I have both tried to contact her."

The older man's face immediately fell. "I need to call the sheriff."

All you do in response is nod, the tears already resurfacing. To his credit, the principal does his best to comfort you, but it's obvious he's not quite certain how to best comfort an inconsolable fifteen year old girl.

"You know her birthday is the day Jason disappeared? I wonder if that has anything to do with her being gone..."

The principal sighs. "I highly doubt that. After all, Clifford Blossom was the one who did all that."

You just grumble curses under your breath. You _know_ it has to be more than a coincidence. Maybe you'll just bring it to Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead. They're better than Riverdale's law enforcement, anyway. Not that you really have money to retain them...Maybe they'd be willing to do it for free, if you were to help them? But maybe you'd be more of a hindrance than a help, anyway...

"Miss?" Sheriff Keller is lightly shaking your shoulder. With a start, you sit up straighter.

"Sorry about that, Sheriff Keller. I'm just...distracted."

"I understand. Your best friend is missing, after all."

The urge to correct him is real, but you don't want to out yourself, Moose, and your girlfriend, over something that may just be nothing; maybe Midge merely slept in.

"Why don't you tell me everything you can think of? I'll question Moose Mason in a bit."

You nod quietly, wiping the constantly recurring tears from your eyes.

"Midge and her parents spent Christmas together, but I spent Christmas Eve at her house, because my parents are very against Christmas celebrations." You pause to collect yourself and watch as the sheriff nods in understanding, though he seems annoyed with you, if you're being honest.

With a slight cough, you continue speaking. "Anyway, the Klumps left on the day after Christmas. Midge and I spent the next couple of days together, doing...homework, and just hanging out. Gossiping about boys and stuff; you know, girl things."

It's not an entire lie; after all, you're equally attracted to the more masculine sex. Though Midge is most certainly not, she has always been willing to entertain your idle fantasies about what male celebrities you would most like to, um, bear the children of.

"Anyway, the last time I heard from Midge was Saturday when I went home to spend time with my family. My sister was back in town for the weekend, so I was too busy to hang out with Midge. I figured she might be mad at me for ignoring her all weekend, when she wasn't responding to my texts last night or this morning, but according to Moose, she hasn't been responding to him, either...And with everything that has happened, with Jason and with Mr. Andrews...I'm scared, Sheriff Keller."

The older man nods and closes his notebook, which he had been scribbling in during your short tirade. "Was Midge fighting with anyone, do you know?"

After a moment of deliberation, you decide not to lie. "She and Moose got in a little bit of an argument, but I don't think he did anything to her. Why would he tell me she hadn't shown up, if he did anything?"

The sheriff just pats you lightly on the shoulder, as you stand up to leave the office. "Why don't you leave that to my office to figure out?"

As you leave the room, the sheriff says calls your name. You turn around inquisitively, to hear what he has to say.

"Don't bring this to that Cooper girl and her friends, okay? They may have done something right for Jason Blossom, but let the law do its job, okay, kid?"

You shrug noncommittally and walk out of the office.

 

 

Without knocking, you slam into the Blue and Gold's headquarters. The blonde you'd brushed by earlier looks up in shock at your abrupt entrance. In the corner, the black-haired outcast glances bemusedly up at you. Archie and Veronica just give you an awkward half wave. Standing next to a stack of this week's newspaper, Sheriff Keller's son, Kevin, the only person in this damn school brave enough to be openly gay, gives you a wave.

You shove the door behind you closed none too gently. "I've got work for you guys."

"Um...who are you?" asks Veronica. With a roll of your eyes, you introduce yourself.

"Oh, you're Moose's girlfriend's friend, right?"

You just nod. Betty interjects at this point, obviously trying to keep Veronica from being too abrasive, considering she shoots the Hispanic girl a Look.

"How can we help you?"

"Midge. Midge Klump. Her parents are out of town, and nobody's heard from her since the 30th. I'm the last person to talk to her."

The room, which hadn't been particularly loud and boisterous before, immediately goes so quiet that the heater sounds far too awkwardly loud.

"Are you sure she's missing and not just mad at you?"

"I'm sure enough that Kevin's dad came in and questioned me. He's in the middle of questioning Moose, right now."

You pull a chair out and sit down, huffing. Your eyes have finally lost the ability to cry, so now they just burn with unshed tears. Honestly, you're quite certain your face must be blotchy and swollen at this point, if not obviously red.

Jughead walks over. "So, what makes you think she's missing?"

"If...if I tell you guys, you can't let it get around the school. Seriously, it could ruin _everything_."

Jughead's and Betty's eyebrows crease, but Kevin looks over with a knowing look on his face, thankfully staying silent.

Veronica speaks up again. "You can trust me. I won't say anything."

"Same." Chimes in Archie, oh so helpfully.

Jughead and Betty just nod in agreement. Kevin says something similar.

Glancing behind you to make sure that the door is fully closed, you begin speaking in a whisper.

"I'm sure you guys know about Moose, because of Kevin, but I doubt you know about...About Midge and me."

Jughead's eyes widen in surprise, but nobody aside from him and Kevin seem to understand quite what you're getting at.

You roll your eyes in mild exasperation. "Midge is a lesbian. She's Moose's beard. I'm bi. Midge and I have been dating since shortly after Archie's dad got shot, okay?"

Veronica gasps, while Kevin comes over and gives you a slight hug in support. "You can trust us, girl," he whispers in your ear. "We won't out you."

You shoot him a strained smile in thanks. "Anyway, we had a slight disagreement, because I decided to spend the weekend with my family; my sister came back from college for the weekend. She was upset with me for 'choosing' my sister over her. Anyway, I figured she must have still been mad at me by Sunday night, when she wasn't responding to my texts. Except she still wasn't responding yesterday, and then, today, she didn't show up for school. She was alone in that house, guys. Who knows what happened."

You pause, taking a deep breath. "The worst part? Her birthday was the day Jason disappeared. I mean, it might have nothing to do with it, but aren't they still investigating his dad's involvement with, like, heroin and shit? What if she saw something during her birthday? She was acting weird all during the investigation of his death. I'm...I'm just really scared for her."

"And you're sure she didn't just sleep in? I mean, it's only third period, now." Jughead gives you a look as he says this quietly.

"Why are you all in here? I thought it was break between first and second right now."

"Jughead and I have free study during third; it's when we work on the Blue and Gold," Betty says awkwardly.

"The rest of us are kinda just skipping," says Kevin jovially.

 

 

 

 

With a chuckle, the three "skippers" rush off to their third period class, while you stay. You don't have a free study period, but you'll be able to get it excused, when Sheriff Keller announces what you already know: that your "best friend" is missing.

Jughead and Betty give each other an awkward look -- right, hadn't they broken up back in November? They'd been so inseparable before Jughead got transferred to Southside High, but according to rumors, Betty had pushed too hard. Great, not only do you have your own relationship drama - you know, being closeted, dating a closeted 17 year old who also happens to be missing - but now you're right in the middle of an obviously uncomfortable breakup.

"Look, should I go?" you ask.

Simultaneously, the two say no. Jughead comes over to you and awkwardly holds his hand out, gesturing towards your bag. Confused, you hand it to him, but he just carefully places it on a table out of the way. Betty, not one to be outdone, Betty pulls over a more comfortable looking chair for you, however, before she can even gesture for you to sit, Principal Weatherbee's voice rings over the intercom, calling for her.

With a huff, she practically stomps out of the room. Jughead closes the door behind her, before clearing his throat.

"Okay, so I'm weird, and I'm not good with new people and interacting."

Despite your anxiety, you find yourself chuckling slightly out how bluntly he puts this. "I'm the same way. Why do you think I ended up dating my _only_ friend?"

He grins slightly at you; really it's only a mild twitch of his lips, but you suddenly see _exactly_ why resident It Girl, Betty Cooper, had gone for the guy. When he smiles, he goes from a solid 4 to at least an 8. He should really do that more, not that you're going to tell him that. There's no way in hell you're forward enough for that kind of nonsense; and besides, you're happily in a relationship, and he probably still has feelings for Betty.

"Anyway, so is there any more information you need from me?"

"Yeah, actually," he says, pulling out his laptop and setting it up quickly. "what did Midge do for her birthday? Anything out of the ordinary?"

It was a while back, so it takes a moment for you to remember. "Well, as you know, July fourth was a Tuesday, so we celebrated on the first, instead."

"Did you guys hang out or anything on the fourth, itself?"

Biting your lip, you try to think back to five months ago. "I...think so. I think we went on a shopping trip in the Southside shopping center. We're not exactly the Blossoms, you know," you say in your own defense, but Jughead hardly even blinks.

Obviously, he's one of the only people in this school who wouldn't judge you for going to the south side; after all, he went to Southside High for, like, six weeks, and according to rumors, he still keeps in touch with some of them. Hell, some rumors say he's even a member of the Snakes.

"Right, I understand. Not everyone is made of money. What are your and Midge's favorite shops down there?"

"Midge likes Chelsea's -- you know how it is; the Vixens love girly things. Personally, I prefer things more, well, _your_ style, Jughead, but I've never judged her. She was my best friend; now she's something even more."

He nods idly. "So you guys just went to Chelsea's?"

You bite your lip again and scrunch your brow in thought. "Mmm, no. Midge also wanted to stop at another shop, one near that bar -- you know, the one the Southside Snakes go to a lot."

With a jolt, you sit up straighter. "Do you think she saw the Snakes transporting Jason Blossom? Did she see something she wasn't supposed to? Something I missed while I was in the bathroom, or something?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I went to the bathroom at Jaxby Station, the, uh, questionable liquor store down there, where they don't ID you, and when I got out a few minutes later -- I was on my period, which you probably didn't need to know, now that I think about it, but it explains why I was in there for a little while...But anyway, when I came back out and met Midge, she looked even paler than usual, and you know how pale she is, as it is."

Jughead looks concerned. "Maybe she _did_ see something she shouldn't have." He moves to go sit back in his private corner. You follow him, and before he can put his headphones in to block out the world, while he does research...or whatever he wants to do, you interrupt him.

"Jughead."

"What?"

"If you plan to go out and search stuff, please take me with you."

His brows shoot up in surprise. "Why? Aren't you afraid of getting hurt?"

"No! My girlfriend is missing! Well, I hope she's just missing, and not being tortured, like Jason was, or dead like who knows how many people. These fucking _Blossoms_ ruin everything good in this world!" You practically shriek the last sentence, but Jughead barely even flinches, to your surprise.

He looks at you quietly for a moment, likely analyzing you and thinking. Licking his lips, he speaks quietly, his voice slightly hoarse. "Yeah, okay. You got it. Give me your phone."

You hand it to him, and he puts his number in. "Now, you should probably go to class. I've got work to do, so I can help you find Midge."

You didn't know at the time, but today would be the first and last day that you'd be able to publicly refer to Midge Klump as your girlfriend, because it would only be a few hours before her body was found, and the state it was left in left absolutely no question as to whether she'd died violently or not.

After all, there was so much blood that her parents weren't allowed into their own home, for fear that they'd be mentally scarred. It would take another two weeks for the crime scene investigators to finish, but at that point, Midge's mother would have already attempted to take her own life and ended up in a psychiatric facility in Albany.

 

 


End file.
